The Goren's Big Blastin Hoochin First Wedding
by Humor In A Bittersweet Life
Summary: Anniversary Luau///// ....Jimmy and Angie Deakins Throw a surprise Luau for Bobby and Alex's First Wedding Anniversary. The Triplet series. Chapter Ten: The Luau!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: My only claim is to the Goren Triplets. No infringement otherwise intended.**

**The Goren's Big Blastin Hoochin First Wedding Anniversary Luau**

**Chapter one: Jimmy and Angie get down to business.**

**The Goren's First Anniversary Celebration … Jimmy Deak Style**

It was late Saturday night heading into the wee hours of Sunday morning, July 12th 2009. I was thinking about Bobby and Alex … it's been almost a year now that I pronounced them husband and wife. That was one of the happiest and proudest days of my life. I place it right on the shelf with my own marriage to Angie and the birth of my two beautiful daughters. I really do. I mean … I'm the one that introduced them … I'm the one that convinced Alex to stay with him and I'm the one that Bobby always comes to when things go awry. He calls me his Rabbi … not like in the religious sense … in the cop sense. I call him, my friend. As a friend, I thought giving him and Alex a surprise first wedding anniversary party would be fun. I need to plan … that's why I'm up late … I'm planning.

"Jimmy, when are you coming to bed?"

"In a while. I've decided to give Bobby and Alex a surprise wedding anniversary party. You wanna help me plan it?"

Angie … my beautiful wife of twenty six years … smiled that gorgeous pearly white smile, came in to my study and sat on my lap.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, but knowing Bobby, he has some Big Blastin Hoochin First Anniversary Goren Luau, already planned."

"Hoochin? Luau?"

"You know what I mean … he comes up with these crazy names and crazy themes."

"Okay … so what you're saying is … Bobby's theme for his first year of marriage to a woman that he worships … **WORSHIPS** … is, illegally distilled booze centered around an Hawaiian feast?"

She smacked me on the arm and tried to get up from my lap … _to no avail_. There maybe snow on the rooftop but there's still fire in the furnace. Party planning could wait till the morning. Bobby and Alex may still be the newlyweds, but Angie and I can still _act_ like newlyweds.

As I carried her to our bedroom, I did realize that she was right on both counts … Bobby would never let this day go bye without a party of his own and he would most certainly name it.

It came to me at the most inopportune time … we were making love and right at _that _moment it came spilling out of my mouth.

"The Big Number One!"

"What!?"

"Sorry."

Without another beat, my Angie said and I quote, "I'd rather drink hooch than pee. Focus on one thing at a time, Jimmy … that fire in the furnace thing that you're always rambling on about, is really just embers."

So that's how we came up with the name … illegal hooch and a Hawaiian feast. Now I just have to convince Bobby that it's bad luck to throw a party on your first anniversary … I have a feeling that I can pull that off, after all, I am his Rabbi.

* * *

**Jimmy will have Bobby tied up in knots over his up coming anniversary and Alex will search for the perfect gift for her husband in up coming chapters. Thanks for reading ... Judy**


	2. Chapter 2

**To cont: Bobby and Alex's 1 year Anniversary is coming up and Jimmy and Angie Deakins are planning a surprise Luau. Told in Jimmy's POV. **

**A conversation with Bobby ... Bobby is in _Italics _and the conversation takes place on the phone.**

**Chapter Two: A new Vocation For James Deakins**

**Jimmy Deakins ~ Party Planner**

When I got to my office today, I read the sign on my door - James Deakins Investigations Inc. I had to laugh, I spent most of my Sunday planning an Anniversary party for my two very dear friends … it should read … Jimmy Deak, Party Planner. I have this party planned down to the minute detail. I just have to find authentic Hawaiian Hula dancers. I know where I can get the pig and the hooch will be no problem at all … I know a guy.

The elements for this Luau are coming together. If you can believe this, Angie … yes, my Angie, knows how to make poi. We went to Hawaii for our Twenty Fifth wedding anniversary and of course we went to a Luau. That's kind of where I got the idea to begin with, well sort of. It started off with Angie making fun of Bobby naming all of his milestones and believe me, he names _**all**_ of his milestones … he's one man that truly has bragging rights. Sorry … getting off the subject … back to Angie and poi. She loved that vile stuff … obviously … not me, but for an authentic Hawaiian Luau … poi it is. Poke, which is a raw fish salad … kinda like sushi but not … not too bad. Salmon, haupia … a coconut based dessert, the pig of course and beer. All the required elements to make up an authentic Hawaiian Luau Jimmy Deak style. Bobby will love it! He traveled around the world in his youth when he was in the Army CID. He once told me that he ate live squid … I think poi would be a palate pleaser for Robert Goren … Alex Goren and the Trips may prefer the haupia. I think I'll get some burgers and dogs too … you know … just in case.

Angie is taking care of the decorations. She's always called our backyard her own personal paradise. We have an in ground pool with an out door kitchen and bar area. When I left Major Case and before I opened up my own business, I did some backyard construction. Angie was upset with me for spending so much money … I was unemployed, but I needed something to get my mind off of what had happened with Adair … swinging the hammer really worked and in the end … Angie and I had a backyard paradise.

It's all fenced in and there's an area large enough to put up a volleyball net. She's planning on stringing up lights everywhere and floating candles in the pool. She's going to cover our cabana with large Banana leafs for that island feel and buy bags of sand and place it down around the grill area.

I made some calls today to Alex's family … John and Erin came up with the greatest idea … a trip to Hawaii for their wedding anniversary gift. They did go away on a honeymoon, but Bobby was in a funny state of mind and Alex was pregnant … yup … I trip to the romantic island of Maui is exactly what they need. I called Angie and she volunteered to look after the Trips while Bobby and Alex went away … alone.

Everything was falling in place, now all I had to do was work on Bobby.

"_Goren_."

"Hey Bobby … you working?"

"_No_ … _ah_ … _yeah_."

"Well, which is it?"

"_Working, but at Starbucks getting Eames her _… _ah_ …"

"Coffee?"

"_Yeah_ … _coffee_ … _right_."

"You still call your wife Eames? What's wrong with you man?"

"_How much time do you have_?"

"It's a slow day."

"_What's up Deak? How long did it take for your hearing to come back after the ATF blew up my backyard_?"

"What?"

"_Ha ha … funny guy_."

"Sorry, couldn't resist. Hey … Angie and I were wondering about your anniversary."

"_Yeah … one full year of wedded bliss … do you believe it_?"

"I do."

Bobby started laughing again … I could almost see his smile through the phone. As soon as he said "wedded bliss," I knew he had a smile on his face from ear to ear. The people on line at Starbucks must have thought he had just won the lotto and you know what? Marrying Alex was like winning the lotto to him … he was one happy and content guy … I couldn't have been happier for him.

"_So_ … _what exactly were you wondering about wise guy_?"

"We would like to have you over for dinner, after all … not only did I have the foresight to put the two of you together in the first place, but I also pronounced you husband and wife. I think I should get dibs on cooking you dinner."

"_Hmm … I'll have to talk to the boss, but that sounds good to me_."

"You mean you're not going to have one of your cookouts … you know … Bobby and Alex's First year of wedded bangin bliss 2009 cookout extravaganzas?"

"_After the ATF blew a huge hole in our backyard … Alex told me that I'm not allowed to have anymore "extravaganzas" until I grow the fuck up_!"

I started to laugh … Alex can be very intimidating and funny. She never swore at perps like a lot of cops do … but put a few margaritas in her and that f-word would fly and usually directed at Goren.

"You know what you should do, Bobby? That hole is big enough that you could put a pool in … Angie loves ours. We could do it ourselves and save some money … we could get Mike and Lewis to help. It should be a piece of cake."

"_Okay Jimmy _… _what part of __**should be **__and Mike and Lewis, don't you get_?"

"Oh … yeah … right. None the less … that would be a great anniversary present for Alex, don't you think?"

"_Paper_."

"What?"

"_The first anniversary present should be paper … I looked it up_."

"Of course you did."

"_I'll think about the pool _… _I mean paper _… _what the hell _… _it's not like she reads_."

"Bobby, Bobby, Bobby … have you not learned anything in this past year? She does know _**how to read **_… ya know?"

"_I know __**that**_ … _with the Trips and work, she doesn't have the time _… _that's all I meant_!"

I love messing with him … he's so easy.

I can hear him ordering their coffees … decaf? Hmm?

"Hey, Goren … what's with the decaf?"

"_Oh_ … _ah_ … _um_ … _don't tell Alex _… _it's my blood pressure _… _the doc wants me to cut down on the caffeine … no big deal._"

"No big deal? But Bobby … you've lost weight and quit smoking … that doesn't add up."

"_You work for Ross and then do the math_."

"Oh … I get it now … your health problem is all my fault."

"_Yup_!"

"You could always come and work for me … the door is always open."

"_I know and I appreciate it _… _I do and someday I may be walking through that door_, _but for now my partner and I are where we're suppose to be_."

"If I didn't know that … I'd be stalking you."

I never realized that Bobby's laugh was so infectious … probably because it was so rare that to hear it was just a joy. For so many years I watched this man live his life in misery. I had never known a more devoted son … I watched him take care of his mother while he solved the most heinous of crimes. Devoted and brilliant. Miserable and tired yet able to perform the tasks asked of him time and time again. He finally broke … even Alex couldn't fix him … not then, but now that seems like a lifetime ago especially when he laughs like that.

He and Alex … I sometimes have to shake my head … I mean … I knew before they knew that they loved each other. Oh … believe me … there were times I thought that Alex was going to castrate him with her stapler. There were also times that I thought he was going to spike her coffee with ex-lax just to keep her in the ladies room while he worked something out in his head. But then, there would be those times that I would be sitting in my office and I would see Goren with his head in a book and Alex would be staring at him and she would have this cute little smile on her face and as quick as that smile would appear it would fade away just as quickly. Then I would catch Bobby watching Alex walk away from him at the end of the day with those longing eyes. I'm a man … I knew what he was thinking. One time I walked up to his desk … I said to him … "Hey Bobby … feel like heading over to Sal's for a couple of beers?" I chickened out … I wanted to tell him to go after her … ask _**her **_out to Sal's for a drink, but I was his Captain.

Well … anyway … they're together now … I just wish that it had happened sooner for Bobby's sake … he may not have done the things he did or at least he wouldn't have been alone.

"_Jimmy_ … _Jimmy _… _you still there_?"

"Yeah … sorry … I was just thinking about something. So … dinner? July 24th You, Alex and the Trips … Okay?"

"_Yeah … I'll ask Alex and call ya. Thanks Deak … it sounds like a good time._"

He has no idea!

"Great … Angie will be so excited."

"_Tell her that I promise not to blow anything up_."

"That will make her happy too."

Okay … so that was easier than I thought it was going to be and now, I'm even more excited about the party. My friend is finally a happy man and I'm happy to do this for him … and of course Alex.

Now I think I'll mess with her next … I've always known how to get her flustered.

* * *

**Jimmy convinces Alex that Bobby bought her the ultimate gift for their anniversary and she needs to do the same. Thanks for reading :) ~ Judy**


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope I don't lose you in this chapter. Alex is here in person and Jimmy enlist the help of Jeffries. Jimmy gets the last word or should I say ... sentence.**

**Chapter Three: Messin' With Eames**

**Messin' With Eames**

Angie was very excited that I had touched base with Bobby and had seemingly set things in motion. I told her my plan to mess with Alex … she said that I was devious and that she loved it … it turned her on … my embers are burning hot these days.

Speaking of embers … I _**am**_ on fire … I didn't have to do a damn thing to set my plan in motion. Have you ever heard the saying … "If the mountain won't come to Muhammad, Muhammad must go to the mountain?" Well … the mountain came … uh … Alex came by my office today to discuss dinner.

I heard my office door creak open and then that sweet … okay, maybe not sweet voice, but Alex's none the less.

"Knock, knock … anyone … at work?"

"Hey … Eames … ah … Goren … ah … Alex … ah … whoever the hell you are today … come on in."

"Officially … Eames … I'm on duty, but you can call me Alex."

"Where's you worse half?"

"Chasing down a lead … I wanted to talk to you alone."

"Shouldn't you be chasing that lead with him? I know I'm not your boss anymore, but Goren without Eames usually adds up to trouble."

"Nah, he's got this one covered. I wanted to talk to you about our anniversary dinner."

"Oh yeah … Angie's very excited … I hope you're coming."

"Yeah … sure, but my parents wanted to take us out for our anniversary."

Thank God … I have this covered.

"No problem … I'll give John a call and we'll have them over too … I'll ask Erin to make her world famous cheese cake … what do you say?"

"Ah … gee … that sounds great. I think they'll love that."

"Great, it's settled then. So … what are you getting Bobby?"

"Getting Bobby … you mean, a gift?"

"Well yeah, Alex … it is your first wedding anniversary. That's pretty special … don't you think?"

"Yeah, but … we're saving money right now."

"Oh really … that's not the impression that I got."

"What do you mean by that, Deak?"

"Just so happens that Bobby told me what he got you and well, he kinda sorta went all out."

"What do you mean … kinda sorta?"

"More like … he went all out. Come on Alex … you know how that man feels about you … the sun rises and sets because of you. He wanted to show you how much this past year has meant to him … he _**really**_ went all out. I think tears will be shed."

"Tears? Tears? Yeah … maybe his when I tear him limb from limb from spending too much money. He _**did**_ spend too much money … right?"

"I really shouldn't say."

"DEAK!"

"Okay, okay … lots of money … I think he dipped into the Trips college fund … kind of money!"

"Jesus Christ … what the hell did he buy me? Come on Deak … give … I need to know."

"Sorry Alex … I've already said too much. Please … I'm begging … don't ruin his surprise. He's so excited about it. Don't you remember how he agonized over your Valentine present? This time he came up with the perfect gift all by himself and he's so proud and well … he just can't wait to see the look on your face."

"You mean the pissed off look for blowing the kids chance at an Ivy League school."

"Oh please Alex … a few thousand dollars split three ways isn't even enough to buy a book now a days."

"A FEW THOUSAND DOLLARS!?"

I held my hands up like she was pointing her gun at my chest … I'm trying not to laugh.

"That's it … I've really said too much now … you need to leave before I really betray his confidence. I will say this though … you should start thinking about a gift for him. It doesn't have to be expensive, but just remember … he's never been loved in his life like you love him … show him with a meaningful gift Alex. He's a special man … let him know like he wants to show you."

I practically push her out of my office … let her chew on that. I can just imagine what she's thinking … diamonds, rubys … emeralds …

I watch her leave … she's talking to herself … no … wait … arguing with herself.

"What the hell did he spend thousands of dollars on _**me**_ for … I know how much he loves me. What could it be? Diamonds … no way … they don't keep you warm at night! Damn … what do you buy a genius … that you love with all of heart … that reads too much into things … FUCK! I'll never find the perfect gift for my perfect husband!"

I need to do some detective work … it's what I do … I make a living at it … a good one at that. I'm going to spy on the Goren's. I'm going to call … Jeffries.

"_Jeffries … Major Case_."

"Hey … Tom, Jimmy Deakins here."

"_HEY_ … _Captain De_"

"DON'T SAY MY NAME! I don't want Bobby or Alex to hear you."

"_Okay Cap _… _but they're not here_."

"Perfect … I need a favor … first of all I'm throwing a surprise party … _**Several minutes go by … **_do you think you can handle that for me Tom?"

"_Oh yeah _… _count me in _… _for the party __**and**__ messin' with the Goren's_!"

**Bobby and Alex walk into Major Case together … Bobby heads to the men's room and Alex goes directly to her desk. Jeffries follows Deak's instructions.**

"Hey Eames … you and Bobby's one year is coming up, huh?"

"Oh … yeah … almost Jeffries."

"I just had mine … course … third times the charm for me."

"Hey Tom … what did you get your wife for your first wedding anniversary gift?"

"A map."

"A map?"

"Yeah … paper is the proper gift for your first anniversary … she likes maps. Course, we don't have the kind of money that you and Bobby have … what did he do … sell the Shelby to buy _**your**_ gift?"

"You know what he bought me?"

"Oops … he didn't give it to you yet? … SHIT … I'll be over here … I didn't say anything … I don't know anything … in fact … Bobby who?"

Jeffries just called me … Alex is sufficiently flustered. Mission accomplished.

* * *

I think we'll pick on Bobby next. Thanks for reading ~ Judy


	4. Chapter 4

**To Cont. It's the Goren's first Anniversay ... the Deakins are planning a surprise party, but are also messing with the couple before the big event. **

**This time, Angie Deakins jumps in on the fun and messes with Bobby.**

**Chapter Four: Angie And Bobby Go Dancing**

**Angie's Turn**

Angie and I sat down to dinner the other night and had a great laugh at Alex's expense.

"Ang, you had to see the look on her face when I said … a few thousand dollars … it was priceless."

"Jimmy, you're awful. I bet she's been giving him the cold shoulder ever since."

"I don't know … I begged her not to let on."

"James … how long have we been married … have you not learned anything?"

"Yeah … you're right … I'm sure she's been an ice queen towards him and he doesn't even know why!"

We both started to crack up. Gee … I hope the Goren's make it to their first anniversary. Anyway, Angie wanted in on some of the fun … she wanted to mess with Bobby.

"_Goren_."

"Hi Bobby … what are you doing?"

"_Angie_?"

"Yeah … surprised to hear from me?"

"_No … well maybe a little. Jimmy okay_?"

"Yes … he's fine, but he can't dance."

"_He can't dance? Did he sprain something_?"

"No … you've seen him dance … he's awful!"

"_Oh … you mean, he __**can't**__ dance_."

"Exactly!"

"_Okay … well, it was nice to hear from you Angie, but I should get back to the Trips _… _it's time for their bath and Alex went grocery shopping_."

"Right, but there was a reason for my call … I know you like to dance and you **can** dance. I also know that Alex doesn't really like to dance and see, the thing is, I won a two week couple's trial to a dance class … Jimmy won't go and I thought of you. Bobby, please … please will you come with me … I really want to take the classes and you're the only man I know that truly loves to dance."

"_Oh, boy … gee … a dance class? I don't know Angie. I mean … the thing is, is … you know I get called into work and _…."

"No I know that … even if we just make two classes … that's all … please Bobby."

I, of course, was standing off to the side while she was on the phone with Goren … I could hardly contain my laughter. We did get a gift certificate for dance lessons … lets just say it came from an old friend. When she hung up, she cracked up laughing … tears fell from her eyes she was laughing so hard.

"Oh my God, Jimmy … I haven't had this much fun since Hannah brought that biker boyfriend home to meet us and you and I were cleaning your guns at the kitchen table."

"Ah … good times … good times."

The next time I saw Bobby, he was picking up my wife for their dance class. Alex and the trips came with him. We stayed home and went swimming. Now don't get excited … my girls were home and the Trips had safety suits on … we each swam with one. As for Bobby and Angie … they looked killer … she was gorgeous, if I do say so myself and Bobby cleans up pretty good when he wants to. Normally he looks like shit, but today he had on a nice pair of casual pants and a polo … Angie told him what to wear. He was really in for a big surprise.

* * *

"**HULA DANCING LESSONS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME**!?"

* * *

As I watched Alex and the Trips enjoying the pool, my thoughts drifted to a funny place. Between Alex thinking Bobby spent thousands of dollars on her gift … which he didn't and Bobby taking Hula lessons. I bet their sex life is in the shit hole right now.

Angie and I are having so much fun planning and plotting that our sex life hadn't been this good since our baby moved out and we found ourselves alone in the house for the first time in eighteen years.

Score one for Deak! I'm so glad I thought about giving Bobby and Alex this party.

* * *

**Hope you're still with me ... can you all see Bobby in a grass skirt? Yum! Thanks for reading ~ Judy**


	5. Chapter 5

**This time, Jimmy picks on Alex again. TeddyMo suggested that Jimmy is getting even for keeping "Tums" in business while he was their Captain ... could be!**

**Chapter Five: Anybody Read A Good Book?**

**Don Quixote**

Angie and Alex had lunch today … Alex was picking her brain about the perfect gift for Bobby. She was telling Angie how Bobby was teaching the Trips how to Hula dance. Apparently the only one out of the three that was at all interested was the peanut … John. That kid acts and looks like Bobby more and more every day. The funny thing is … he even has big feet! He trips over them all the time! It's quite a site to see this little tiny thing, that looks like he shouldn't even be walking … come at you … big feet and all … then … he trips … falls … and bounces right back up and looks back down at those feet like he's pissed off at them. Then, he does the same damn thing all over again. Anyway, Alex said, Bobby was swaying his hips and John was looking up at him with the same brown eyes … swaying his hips too. Fortunately for us … Alex caught it all on tape. I can use that the night of the party. I'll makeshift some type of screen outside and we'll show some home movies of the past year … **that** will be on the highlight reel.

I have to say, Bobby is a real sport … once he got over the initial shock of Angie dragging him to a Hula class, she said they had a blast. Just put some music on and our big loveable Detective can sure cut a rug … or in this case … sand. She said he embraced the island magic. I guess there was some meditation in the class as well. I'm sure as hell glad she didn't drag me to that class. I may have gone postal. I hate that shit! Well, I'm happy they enjoyed themselves, although it wasn't meant to turn out that way … she wanted to mess with Bobby, but now she found a dance partner instead. If it were anybody else but Goren, I'd be pissed, but he's as loyal as the day is long … I'm not a bit concerned, just in need of another plan is all.

I guess I have to turn my attention to Alex and a gift for Bobby. I gave her a call … I had an idea.

"_Hi Jimmy_ … _what's up_?"

"Caller ID?"

"_Yup_ … _I'm wise to you _… _Angie must have told you about my visit_."

"She did and I have the perfect gift … sort of."

"_Sort of_? _Okay _… _I'm game _… _what have you got_?"

"Well … I looked it up for you … the traditional gift for your first wedding anniversary should be paper. It could be a love poem or an art piece, a favorite book …"

"_Are you reading that from a web-site_?"

"_**Maybe**_."

"_I've already done that, Deak! What else have you got_?"

"I was thinking of a book, but not Moby Dick!"

"_Oh, God no_."

"Right … maybe a first edition of one of his favorites. Which classic is his favorite?"

"_Gee … I really don't know_."

"How could you not know something as important as that?"

"_Ah _… _ah_ … _that's important_?"

"Angie knows my favorite book … books actually. I would be thrilled if she bought me a first edition."

"She does and you would?"

"Hell yeah and yeah! … Oh alright … I'll put you out of your misery … I know what his favorite book is. We had one of these debates one night over drinks years ago … I'll never forget it. He even said that he wished he had a first edition … in Spanish, no less. He can be such a snob about things like that."

"_Well_ … _stop keeping me in suspense _… _what is it_? … _It sounds perfect_."

"Oh … it is … _**it is**. _Don Quixote."

"_Don Quixote _… _really_?"

"Oh yeah …** really**."

I had my fingers crossed. I have no idea what Bobby's favorite book is … I just happen to know that there is no way in hell that Alex could find a first edition of Don Quixote. I read an article not too long ago about someone unearthing a first edition in Spain. There are only eighteen first editions known to exist. Happy hunting Alex!

* * *

**Next: Bobby and Alex visit the pharmacy for Tums. Thanks for reading ... Judy**


	6. Chapter 6

**As told by Jimmy Deakins ... did he know who he was messing with? I think not!**

**Chapter Six: Don't Mess With Eames!**

**Egg Salad On My Face **

You know that saying when you play with fire … yeah you do. Anyway, what was I thinking messing around with the two best detectives this side of the equator? This side of the world? Bobby called me up and asked me to meet him for lunch at Big Papa's Diner. Alex called Angie and did the same … unbeknownst to either one of us. It was one of those … "Ooh … fancy meeting you two here." Yeah … my ass. Angie and I exchanged looks like we knew we were in for it … you get to know those looks after twenty six years of marriage. My big mistake was Don Quixote … I'll tell you how I know … it was the lunch order that gave it away.

"Honey, what are you getting?" Inquired Alex … I know she knew what Goren was going to order … the whole thing was so contrived … not that pastrami had anything to do with it.

"Pastrami on Rye … a little bit of mustard. You, Babe?"

"Hmm … is there anything … ah … Mexican, on the menu … Dear?"

"Mexican? Hmm, not sure Darling … like what?"

"What would …_and she looked directly at me _… Don Quixote order?"

"Don Quixote was from Spain … _**Dear**_."

"Oh … well … sorry … it's your favorite book … not mine."

That was the set up. Damn these two are good.

Bobby shook his head.

"Really … Don Quixote is my favorite book? Since when?"

"Jimmy told me … he said that you told him years ago that you wanted a first edition."

"First edition of Don Quixote? Alex … do you know how much that would cost? **Jimmy** … _he looked at me with those quizzical eyes _… _quite a performance _… what are you crazy!? First edition? I believe there are only _**maybe**_ eighteen known to exist … most of which are in museums in Spain."

"I found that out … I googled." Mocked Alex. Making a mockery out of me … of course.

Damn that search engine! What did we ever do without computers and cell phones? I'd like to see what would happen to society if those things were taken away from us, as a matter of fact … lets go back to the horse and buggy days. Lets go Amish … if I were Amish … I never would have been in that predicament, squirming in that very old, uncomfortable corner booth at Big Papa's. How could I? I wouldn't have had a cell phone to answer and accept Bobby's invitation to lunch.

"The point is … it isn't my favorite book anyway."

"What is … for curiosity sake?"

"Moby Dick."

"Is not."

"Is too … and I don't want a first edition … if you were going to ask."

Moby Dick … Moby Dick! What the fuck is that all about … they're just playing with me now. I look at Angie, she looks at me. She really doesn't get the significance of Moby Dick. I always tried to keep her away from the job and the job away from her … especially when it came to Nicole Wallace. He did say Moby Dick? He's playing me … I know he is.

So the bottom line here was … Angie and I were invited out to lunch to let us know … in the Goren's sort of way … that we're not pulling any wool over their eyes. I just hope that they enjoy themselves at the party.

Oh … by the way … I ordered egg salad … I put it directly on my face. Get it?

I'm not giving up on my quest to mess with them. I'll recruit others … there-are-others.

* * *

**Who are the others? They're not Aliens ... I can tell you that much! Thanks for reading ~ Judy**


	7. Chapter 7

****Warning** Deak is very evil in this chapter and Bobby falls for it "Hook, line and sinker!"**

**Chapter Seven: Alex is gonna KILL Bobby!**

**Fly Fishing**

Remember those others I told you about? You know … The others that I could recruit to mess with the Goren's? Does Mike Logan ring a bell? I bet you didn't know that Bobby is an avid fly fisherman. What does that have to do with the price of milk? Nothing, but I got Mike to wear a wire and invite Goren to go fly fishing the day of the Luau … this should be good.

_**As heard through the wire **_… Mike and Bobby are playing basketball … they didn't invite the old guy. That's me by the way.

"So … what are you doing Friday?"

"It's my anniversary … Alex and I are having dinner with Jimmy and Angie."

"Can you get out of it?"

"My anniversary … you're kidding … right?"

"Goren … my cousin is letting me use his cabin in Kingston for the week-end. Right on the Esopus River … the Esopus River Bobby."

"Oh man … I didn't know you had a cousin."

"Of course I have a cousin."

"The Esopus you say?"

"Biggest trout you've ever seen. What da ya say … send Alex and the Trips to Deaks house … you _**need**_ time away. Between work and the kids … life is stressful man … come on, you, me, the fish … no women and their honey do list."

"No honey do list?"

"No, _**honey**_ … I promise … the only thing I'll make you do, is fish."

"I don't know Mike … It's my one year anniversary."

"I have a great idea … make her think that it's your present."

"What?"

"Yeah … I'll help … I'll play it up … you know … it's a once in a life time sort of thing. My cousin's gonna sell the place and gee Alex … you know how much Bobby loves to fly fish."

"See though … she really doesn't. By the time we got together, I didn't have time for fly fishing anymore."

"You didn't have time or you didn't make time? Bobby, Bobby, Bobby … your wife has you by the cogliones. It's time you get your balls back and tell her that you need this … It just so happens that I have the cabin _**this**_ week-end."

"She doesn't have me by the balls! I'm the boss of me!"

_**That was a great line by Mike … no guy likes to hear that his wife keeps his balls in a jar … in essence … that's what he said.**_

"That's right, Goren … you go and tell that pretty little wife of yours that you're going fishing with me this week-end … she'll just have to tell Deak and his wife to postpone dinner."

_**Uh-oh!**_

"That's right! Deak will understand … in fact … lets invite him too!"

_**Ooh … that could work.**_

"Now that's a great idea, Goren and we'll get Lewis too. An all guys week-end … no chicks allowed!"

_**These two started to sound like a couple of jocks all pumped up for the big game … did I say jocks? … I meant jerks! Gotta love a wire.**_

"I'm going to go tell Alex right now … thanks Mike … see ya later."

_**Mike must have turned his back on Bobby while he was walking away because he whispered into the wire.**_

"I hope you know what you're doing Deak, because I have a feeling he's going to be sleeping on my couch tonight."

Don't ask me why I'm doing what I'm doing, but man … I'm having a ball doing it!

* * *

**Shall I have Angie wear a wire next or call our friend Danielle at the ER and tell her that Bobby is on the way ... Alex is going to hurt him! Thanks for reading ~ Judy**


	8. Chapter 8

**Jimmy plants a bug in the Goren home! **

_**A/N:** While Jimmy is in his car, his narrations are in_ _**bold italics**_

**Chapter Eight: The Goren's House Plants, Need Pesticides**

**Isn't The Fo****urth Of July Over?**

I thought about what I had done … serves them right! Do you know how many Tums I had to eat while I was their Captain? Plenty … that's how many! If they could figure out the Don Quixote thing … then they should be able to smell that something fishy was going on here too … a very convenient fishing trip, that is.

I had to get over to the Goren's house quick and plant a bug … I wanted to hear the fireworks. Hey … I'm not evil … just devilish … there is a difference.

I stepped up to the door and rang the doorbell with some trepidation … after all … they did already call me out on the priceless book thing.

"Well … look who's here, the man from La Mancha himself."

You can always count on Alex for a snarky remark.

I looked down and shuffled my feet … do you know how many times I saw Goren do that at the sight of her? This is what I'm saying. Between the two of them going off half cocked, but getting the job done and watching them fall in love and not admitting it to each other or themselves for that matter … it was torture. I'm getting even!

"Ah … yeah … sorry. I thought it was funny."

"Ha Ha."

"May I come in?"

I waved my handkerchief to signify my surrender … I used it as a sort of misdirection, as Bobby would call it. As I walked through the door waving my hanky … I planted the bug. Her eyes were too busy watching one hand while the other was dropping the bug down in a house plant … perfect.

"Please … come in … what kind of web of deceit are you going to spin this time … _**Captain**_."

"Ouch … Captain is it? Now Alex, I came by for a truce … to apologize … I was just fooling around. I mean … seriously … your first year of marriage … I was just teasing. You can't possibly know everything there is to know about Bobby and I'm sure you've kept things from him."

"I haven't kept anything from him and after eight years of a very successful partnership … I know more than you think about my husband."

I held up my hands in defeat … I wonder if she knows about the fly fishing?

"Okay, okay … I get it."

"Yeah … you better! And … for your information … I knew that Moby Dick was his favorite book!"

_**Sure**_.

"Okay, Alex … I just wanted to apologize and give you this."

I gave her a kiss on her forehead … she blushed … I smiled … I'm damn good and back in the game!

I parked down the street and waited for Bobby to get home. I could hear Alex playing with the Trips … my bug worked to perfection.

"Honey I'm home! Hi my babies."

DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA …….

_**Those darn Trips are so frigin cute … to think they could have had them years earlier and Alex could have helped Bobby through his trials and tribulations … oh well … water under the**_ _**bridge.**_

"Hey babe … how was Mike?"

_**Hmm … no answer … he must be thinking about fly fishing! There's an awful long silence … what's there to think about, Goren? Fly fishing, man. Come on … tell her you're going … be a man! What are you waiting for … chicken?**_

"Ah … Mike … is … ah … good."

"Really? Come on … what's up with Mike?"

"Have you ever heard of the Esopus River?"

"In Kingston?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"It has the best fly fishing in the area … I mean … _**the**_ best."

"Fly fishing?"

"Yeah … ya see … Mike has this cousin and this cousin of his, is letting him use his cabin on the Esopus one last time before he sells it. He invited me to go with him."

"Oh … do you even know how to fly fish?"

"Hell yeah! I love it. Just you, your rod and nature … it's heaven."

"I like you, your rod and to let nature takes it's course … _**Bobby**_."

_**Now you see … that's the problem with bugging your best friends home**_.

"Alex! I'm trying to tell you something!"

"Yeah … I get it … you like to play with your rod."

"NO! Well … yeah, but … the thing is … we can only get the cabin this week-end. We're leaving Friday morning."

_**Here it comes … Fourth of July, part two**_.

"**WHAT!?** On our anniversary … our first anniversary? What about me? What about dinner at the Deakins'?"

"Well ah ah … just look at it as my gift."

"YOUR GIFT!? _**YOUR**_ GIFT!! What about my gift mister? Is my gift, hanging out with the Trips all week-end, by myself, changing diapers … doing laundry … cleaning the house … not getting a break from my daily routine? IS THAT _**MY**_ GIFT … _**ROBERT**_?"

_**Uh-oh … she used the Robert card**_.

"Ah … ah … ah"

"Ah nothing! I knew this wouldn't last … why did you want to get married if all you ever want to do is hang out with Mike and Lewis? If you want to act like a bachelor … why don't you become one again!"

_**Oh shit … that wasn't suppose to happen … I had to get in there and stop this madness!**_

I ran up to the door and knocked frantically. Bobby opened the door and Alex was standing there holding the plant.

"I saw your car parked down the street, Deak."

"When Bobby walked through the door … I pointed at the plant … he saw the bug you planted."

"As soon as I saw that … I knew that you and Mike planned the fly fishing thing. I knew there was something _**fishy**_ about him not taking his shirt off. What? … was he wearing a wire?"

I shook my head in the affirmative.

Bobby started to laugh, then he crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at an amused Alex. The next thing he said to me made me feel really stupid.

"You do remember that we're Detectives … right?"

* * *

**_I hope this chapter amused you ... they are MCS's best Detectives! Thanks for reading ~ Judy_**


	9. Chapter 9

**The truth spills out. Bad weather the day before the sun shines bright on the big event!**

**Chapter Nine: Time to Kiss and Make-Up**

**The Real Boss, Puts Her Foot Down**

When I went home and told Angie about my latest adventure or misadventure … as the case may be, she put her foot down.

"That's it! James Deakins … this party was all your idea and I'm doing all the work while you're doing … oh hell … I don't know what you're doing."

"I'm getting even with those two … that's what I'm doing."

"Getting even? Getting even for what?"

"My ulcer … for one thing. Don't you remember what it was like … what _**I**_ was like being their captain?"

"I know Bobby was a challenge, but Alex … Alex was and is a sweetheart."

"Sweetheart? Are we talking about Alex Eames?"

"Oh Jimmy … cut it out."

"I watched those two solve crimes … right from the get go. Nobody … I mean, nobody wanted to be Bobby's partner, but she took him on. Then … out of the blue, not two months in, she wants out. I talk her out of it, buy myself some more time, then she changes her mind again. _You were right Captain … he's brilliant Captain … I can learn a lot from him Captain_. Then they fight … stupid stuff. Then they stare at each other when they think no one else is looking … but I'm looking, I'm watching. I'm watching my two best detectives … probably the two best detectives I've ever known, fall in love and they can't even see it! They made me wait too long, Ang … they should be celebrating their fifth anniversary … not their first!"

"That's what this is all about … because they made _**you**_ wait?"

"Yeah … what if I was old and decrepit?"

"You are."

"Funny … but seriously … what if my health was bad and I wasn't able to enjoy their children. What if we had moved away like I originally wanted to. What if …"

"Jimmy! Stop with the what if's. They _**are**_ married, they _**are**_ happy and you _**are**_ healthy and still young enough to be a surrogate grandfather to the Trips."

"The point is, Ang … Alex should have been there for Bobby … _**I **_should have, but he was unreachable."

"What? You're not making any sense now."

"If they had just gotten together five years ago … Bobby wouldn't have fallen apart like he did. I blame Alex for that … and myself. I guess I'm trying to piss her off and amuse Bobby all at the same time. Bobby gets my humor."

I didn't want that to spill out of my mouth … sure it was Angie … my biggest confidante, but I knew it would upset her … I was upset. I sat and placed my head in my hands. I felt her sit beside me and rub my back.

"I didn't know you felt this way."

"He came to me … you know, when Ross took over? He almost came undone when Alex was kidnapped. Then his mom got deathly ill … well, you know the events in his life. Anyway … he and Alex grew apart … his doing, but I know how she felt about him … why did she let him fall, Ang? I couldn't reach him for a long time … he was there, but not there. He needed her and she turned her back on him … why?"

"He was a lot of work, Jimmy. Not that he wasn't worth it … _**he**_ didn't think he was … he pushed her away. You have to remember … it takes two to tango."

I nodded in agreement. The thing of it was … he _**was**_ worth it … I knew it and sure as hell, Eames knew it. I've had this anger bottled up inside for along time now. Guilt plays a role … my own.

Playing practical jokes on people may seem like a lot of fun … and it is … Alex hates practical jokes, especially now that she's the proud mother of triplets. She doesn't have the time to run in circles looking for the perfect present … she needs to realize before Friday that she _**is **_his perfect present. That's all Bobby ever wanted … a happy family and _**she**_ gave it to him. Hmm, I guess I needed to realize that myself. She may have stepped back when he told her to, but she's with him now … for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do they part.

I went to apologize to Alex … we talked it out. She cried and totally understood. I pleaded mental disease.

We're good and the best thing about it … she doesn't suspect a thing about the Luau … all of this monkey business of mine, has really thrown her for a loop. She just thinks I went over the deep end .

I hope she watched Bobby and the peanut doing the Hula … I have a grass skirt with her name on it.

* * *

**Moonshine and the Luau coming up next. Thanks for reading ~ Judy**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay ... this is it ...The Big night. I hope you enjoy the party!**

**One quick thing: No infringement intended ... I mention the "Cake Boss" in this chapter.**

**Once again ... as told by, Jimmy Deakins.**

**Chapter Ten: Happy Anniversary Alex and Bobby!**

* * *

**Hau`oli l****a**** ho`omana`o Alex and Bobby**

The day was finally here, putting all my craziness aside … I hope the Goren's have a great time tonight at their Anniversary Luau. I hope _**everyone**_ has a great time celebrating this past year of watching Bobby and Alex grow together as husband and wife.

We invited all of their friends and of course their families. Bobby's new found family … Aunt Connie et al … couldn't make this trip, but sent a terrific little video. Angie and I watched it … we didn't want any surprises … we're reserving that for the party. It's just that, I didn't want to show a video of his Aunt on this special night, if she was going to say something about her brother. Why would she? I don't know, but Angie and I didn't want to take that chance.

Angie, the girls and I, were running all over the place making sure everything was perfect for the big event. The girls helped Angie with the decorations and I picked up John Eames. We started the food prep. Alex's sister Liz came by to help and party central was in full swing. My only fear was Bobby dropping in for something. He often did that on the week-end … still being a fairly new home owner, he would drop by to get the old man's advice on things … that's me, by the way. Technically, it was Friday and he usually didn't stop by until Saturday, but you never know.

Anyway, we were expecting a lot of people. We invited a sea of blue … their colleagues, in other words. Bobby's friends from his past life … more sea of blue, narcotics. His best friend and consequently my friend now, Lewis and his entire family. The Eames crew and the off shoots of all of her brothers and sisters. Ross, of course. ME Rodgers. Jeffries and his biker chick wife … yup, that's what I said. Logan and Barek. Wheeler was going to try and make it, but she was having morning sickness that lasted all day and we also invited the new guy … Jack or Zach … Ross thought it was a good idea to invite him, not that I like or listen to Ross, but, whatever. Lots of people … I think Chris was going to try to come too … he's Goren's friend … the guy with all the ink. Nice guy. I've gotten to know most of Goren's friends since I left Major Case … he hangs with nice people when he lets them in … which he doesn't.

So everything is set … then we sat back and waited.

As the time approaches and the sun goes down, John and I step outside and started cooking. Angie, the girls and Liz walked around and lit the Tiki Torches and turned on all of the lights that Angie had strung about the yard.

I stood back and took it all in. The thing is … I owe Bobby and Alex at least this … especially Bobby. You see … they had the proof we needed to clear my name, but I knew Adair would have gone after them next, my detectives … my good detectives. I should have stayed and fought, had I done that, Bobby's life may not have fallen apart like it did. If Ross had supported him like a good Captain should have … the Tate thing I mean, his life may not have spun out of control. Hell, I would have gone with him … in a tank … with bazookas … you know … the M9 Anti Tank Rocket Launchers? Maybe we could have saved his nephew and maybe Frank would still be alive.

I felt John Eames hand on my shoulder … it was almost as if he knew where my head was at … he probably did … he's like that.

"Come on Deak … it's almost time for the guests to start arriving."

"Okay … good … great … how's the pig looking?"

"Great and the still is pumping out booze. I hope everyone has designated drivers … that hooch is strong!"

The guests were instructed to wear Hawaiian shirts and as they arrived they would get leied at the gate … get your mind out of the gutter … by the authentic Hula Dancers that Jeffries and his wife arranged for entertainment. They would also be given a grass skirt and I put on the invitation … bathing suits optional. Now that I say that … I hope they don't think that skinny dipping is the other option.

Besides the top of their wedding cake, Erin Eames made most of the desserts … she had been watching Buddy on that new show … 'Cake Boss,' and she picked up a lot of decorating tips. She went wild baking … we had cannolis and bear claws. Éclairs, Italian cookies, cakes and pastries that I had never heard of … Bobby was going to be hanging around that table all night long … I could already predict that.

Everything was set and the Hula Dancers had taken their places by the gate … we asked the guests to arrive an hour before Bobby and Alex. They all laughed as they received their leis and grass skirts. We had a small table set up for gifts … just in case … we should have had bigger one. The party was getting started without the honored guests … we knew that would happen. Logan was the number one cheerleader standing by the still. Once Lewis arrived … all hell broke loose. Laughter was in the air … people were smiling and watching the gate for Bobby and Alex. It was going to be a great night.

I was busy being the host when I heard a roar and Angie came running … Bobby and Alex walked up to the gate slowly … tentatively. Mainly because the Trips were walking … sort of … they were holding hands in between their parents. _**That**_ was a Kodak moment if I ever saw one!

Everyone yelled out … "SURPRISE!" And on the invitation I had spelled out Happy Anniversary in Hawaiian … they yelled that out next. "Hau`oli la ho`omana`o." Of course Bobby knew what that meant … he bent down and whispered it to Alex. Am I surprised … no, but they were … they both looked like deer's in head lights. Then, Bobby saw the sign … he slapped his thigh and started cracking up. He pointed to it and Alex also started laughing. The sign read; The Goren's Big Blastin' Hoochin First Wedding Anniversary Luau. I could read her lips … "_did you come up with that_?" and his … "_no _… _I didn't know anything about this_!"

They picked up the Trips and continued on in … shaking hands and hugging friends and family along the way. I stood back smiling. I did it … I pulled the ultimate … I surprised Major Case's two most brilliant detectives.

Bobby came over to me … he was holding the peanut … and shook my hand.

"Why did you do all this Jimmy?" He was looking around at all the people that came to celebrate his one year wedding anniversary.

"Let's just say … I owe ya."

"No … no you don't. Whether you were my Captain or not … trouble finds me … well, sometimes I look for it." He looked directly at Alex when he said that … with a very wide smile on his face.

I don't know how he knew my thought process on the matter … I'm sure he talked to Alex and came up with his own spin on things. He's always right, he just doesn't always do things the right way.

He hit me on the back and headed for the hooch … or Logan … trouble, in other words.

Alex approached me next with Hales and Trace in toe. She hugged me and then walked away with a smile on her face, turning back and shaking her head like she does and pointing at me. She headed right for her mom and dad.

All and all it was a great night. The food was great … the company was even better. Bobby was unusually social … he was mingling and laughing with all his friends. He had John in his arms all night. When it came time for the Hula Dancers, John practically jumped out of his father's arms to do the dance … another Kodak moment. Goren in a grass skirt was a Kodak _**and**_ blackmail moment. The whole clan … including Alex, got up and did the Hula. Angie dragged me up there too … I think I need a hip replacement now.

After the entertainment was over … I had some of my own planned. Home movies. I had their wedding … the part where Alex didn't walk down the aisle … she was pregnant and throwing up. I have Bobby, Lewis and Logan trying to string Christmas lights … don't even ask how I got that … lets just say … surveillance. I have movies from all of the Goren's First Yada, Yada Extravaganzas. Connie's family video … just a quick congrats and last but not least … Big Bobby and the peanut learning the Hula. Alex and the Trips are giggling in the background … a perfect ending.

We all sat around … drinking some hooch, watching and laughing. When the home movies were over … they opened their gifts. There was a wide range … sexy night gowns to keep the home fires burning. Tools for around the house. Gift cards, porn, you name it … they got it. The Eames and Angie and I chipped in for the trip to Maui … they opened that last. Alex started to cry, Bobby wiped his extra large hand down his face … they were speechless … I thought. Bobby glanced at Alex … Alex glanced at him. They nodded at each other and smiled. She raised her chin to him as if to say, "you do it." Husband and wife short hand … Angie and I do that to. Bobby stood up.

"Wow! I … _**we**_ … don't know how to thank all of you for this wonderful night. I can't remember I time when Alex and I have had so much fun. The gifts were so thoughtful and ah … well … Logan … thanks for the ah … DVD … how did you know? Lew … I've been meaning to get that carburetor for Alex's car for a long time now, so … thanks. Everyone … really … thank you so much. Jimmy and Angie … girls … thanks so much for opening up your home to our family and friends and turning your backyard into a Hawaiian paradise. John, Erin, Jimmy Angie … the trip to Maui … that's an incredible gift. Alex and I … well … we should decide … _**and this is when his speech got interesting. Alex got up and wrapped her arms around him **_… whether we should take the trip now or wait until after the baby is born."

_**Then Alex said …**_

"Or … babies."

Ross was standing up … he sat down and put his hand on his head. Angie hugged me tight. Alex's brother Jack looked like he was going to kill Bobby. Logan started laughing and took his DVD back. Lewis gave Bobby and 'attaboy.' John and Erin hugged them both and the triplets started to do the Hula.

The party broke up around mid-night. The Trips were sleeping in their port-a-cribs and Bobby and Alex were graciously saying goodnight to their friends and family. There was a lot of the, " I love you man's," flying … fueled by the hooch. A lot of hugs and kisses and congratulations on the baby.

Ross was acting like a dick … he knew that he was going to lose Alex and have a brooding Bobby on his hands again. I always knew how to handle Bobby … not head on like Ross … Ross is a dick.

My last present to the Goren's … I saw my opportunity and I took it. I saw Ross walking by the pool … I grabbed some dirty dishes and walked by him. I pretended to lose my balance and knocked him into the pool. I did say bathing suits optional … I can't help it if he was a dick in a "three piece" bathing suit. "Oops … sorry." … Not!

Mahalo.

* * *

**_fin. Thanks for reading ~ Judy_**


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